TANTE QIUYUE and most important relationship condition is friendship. It establishes and maintains the foundation of all of our other healthy and productive involvements and requires the exchanging of interests, experiences, trust, and concern. Friendships don't just happen; they are neither a matter of convenience nor of popularity. Real friendships take time and typically have three stages of growth.

TANTE QIUYUE acquaintanceships, or those 'pre-friendships' in the initial stimulus stage, can blossom when we experience physical and verbal rapport, a sense of mutual respect, and some shared interests. 
In the second (or value) stage, we have come to appreciate and respect intangible things like: ethics, character, and morals.

The third, and the most intimate expression of an evolving friendship, is the role stage where we share: family, specific activities, dreams, fears, support, and some measure of responsibility to and for each other.

You should take a proactive attitude when initiating or building upon friendships. Do not hesitate to use affirmative language to assure new friends or to reassure established friends of their importance. Be mindful that not all friendships are equal and should conflicts arise in the two relationship conditions that follow (companionship & partnership), you should do your best to work through those challenges from your foundation as 'friends'.


TANTE MEILI let's say that you have an (intimate) involvement that begins as a mutually lusty tryst (known as visceral sex) and is subsequently driven primarily by physical attraction. The intimate participants would be wise to acknowledge 'that' (lust) fact early on before ever-changing romantic sensibilities have a chance to rewrite the story and misrepresent the true genesis of the relationship.

TANTE MEILI in time, a very respectful, committed, and emotion-based partnership (known as relational sex) may certainly evolve. What is the caveat of a lust-born or visceral relationship? Make sure that it is not being offered or accepted as a substitute for real intimacy; and, remember that deepening feelings for one may NOT be shared or returned in the same way. What is important is to appreciate the differences between the levels of affection and to understand that LIKE and - ultimately - LOVE, together, offer the greatest chance at long-term happiness.

Elaine and G. William Walster - in their book 'A new look at love' - remind us that the affection of love can appear in two very different forms: passionate love and companionate love.

Passionate love can be a wildly emotional state; a confusion of feelings: tenderness and sexuality, elation and pain, anxiety and relief, altruism and jealousy.